|
 It
is amazing as to how much we have to go through to tolerate all the annoying
habits of our loved ones. Yes, love is blind and that it has no boundaries. A
habit is any pattern of behaviour that is regularly and often involuntarily
performed. Smoking is a habit, as is hair-twirling, knuckle cracking and calling
one’s mother. These are of course innocent habits as compared to the
disgusting ones such as abusing and picking the feet. Habits die hard, but then
if your partner’s habits disgust you and make you lose your concentration then
you would probably break your partner of them.
Experience
dictates that screaming or yelling won’t take you far. Coping with the habit
more productively is the key rather than blowing your spouse’s head off: “If
you don’t stop talking, I’ll cut your tongue off or shove a bar of washing
soap in your mouth”.
Since
most habits are impulsive, therefore alert your partner to what he or she is
indulging in by (a) coughing, (b) making a noise, (c) by whistling or (d) by
copying the behaviour and adding animal sounds for emphasis. For instance, if
your spouse has an habit of playing with his mustache, your copying him could be
supported by the sound of barking.
 Consider
frightening your partner out of the habit. Tell him that shaking the leg
or playing with the lip seems vulgar and people who do so are normally
considered to be thinking of perverse things at that moment and that his
friends might think that he has an unfulfilled love life.
Inform your wife
that biting nails is a sign of under-confidence, nervousness and guilt
indicative of hiding some dark secret. Advice your loved one that
exploring for treasures inside the nose could damage the nasal cavity and
result in an inability to smell the provocative perfumes.
 Fear
and taunting don’t always work as some habits are psychological developed on
the basis of some childhood experience. In such a case urge your partner to seek
the services of a shrink. Be understanding and reassure your partner that you
like him or her just the way he or she is. Some habits like obsessive swallowing
of saliva may stem from the feeling of inner emptiness or thoughtlessly staring
at someone of the same sex may be due to an inferiority complex and certainly
not homophobia. Human behaviour is complex and such type of behaviour needs your
support and not your scorn. You are more likely to be tolerant to his or her
habits if you view them as unconscious reactions to life’s stresses rather
than as deliberate attacks on your sanity.
 If
your partner has a particular habit that you can’t pocket, then suggest a
substitute habit that you can live with. For example, your wife could exchange
her henpecking at your coming home late from office by cooking you your
favourite dish or buying you a new CD (not the pirated one), or a tie or even
letting you spend a weekend with your friends at Bhurban to play golf.
Similarly, your husband could substitute the embarrassing habit of scratching
himself just about anywhere by taking you to Dynasty for dinner or letting you
spend the weekend at your parent’s place.
 A
more bold approach (more suitable for men in our society) to soothe your
annoyance with your partner’s habits could be to compare them with those of
other women or men you know. Be careful not to cross the line between jealousy
and eternal animosity. If your spouse, for instance, has the habit of sitting in
front of the mirror and brushing her hair for hours on end, you could tell her
how sexy your colleague or secretary looks with short hair.
 If
your partner’s habit is incorrigible, that is, you can no longer bear it, then
you should take a course in self-hypnosis and try to increase your threshold of
tolerance. Then, every time, your hubby clears his throat with a noise like that
made by bulldozers clearing a major escavation or
sings incessantly without any tune whatsoever, you can mentally transport
yourself from your home to some place more appealing, like a resort in Kaghan or
even Mars for that matter.
Finally
keep in mind that tolerating a partner’s habits is a reciprocal business and
may have unexpected rewards. And, maybe if you are lucky, your partner might
break the habit of never saying, “I love you” in broad daylight.
|
